- Mr. Wedding Planner
- Wants to be involved in every aspect of the planning. Checks your wedding email regularly and is on top of contacting vendors.
- Mr. Keep Everyone Happy
- Has strong opinions on some things and others could care less about. Will help choose things because he knows it will make you happy.
- Mr. Are We Done Yet
- Just wants it all to be over with. Is eloping still an option?
Advice to Brides about your Grooms
Whatever type of groom-to-be your man is, don’t worry about it. The most important part of the whole process is learning how to communicate AND you get to marry the man of your dreams. When planning your wedding, step back and remember you are planning a party to celebrate the love you have for each other. Find out what is important to him; some grooms want to help with color choices, invite list, food options and so on. Try to give your wedding some personality, what makes your relationship unique? Tie some of those elements into your wedding, your groom will thank you and might so more interest in helping you plan. When the wedding is over, the flowers are dead, the cake is gone and the guests are asleep, you will have the memory of the day and how you felt. When I asked a bunch of grooms what they loved most about their wedding day, all of them loved the actual day and were so excited about marrying the girl of their dreams. (Read Groom responses at the end of this blog post.)
Some grooms could honestly care less about any of the planning, and that is okay! If you really want his opinion on something let him know how much it means to you that you know what he thinks. (Most grooms don’t know the difference between blush, mauve, and baby pink so asking them those sort of questions will never get you anywhere). So here are some conversation starters with your groom-to-be to start learning what is important to him, so that the wedding is “YOUR” day.
These are ideas of what to ask your groom if you want him to feel included in planning the wedding but you don’t know how to get him involved.
- Where do we want to get married?
- Will more of our friends and family come to one city over another?
- Do we want a local wedding or destination?
- Do we want guest to be more formal or causal?
- Do you want to wear a tux or a suit?
- Is there a color you wouldn’t wear?
- How do you picture the wedding feeling?
- Do you want the guests dancing?
- If so, do you see us using a DJ or a Band?
- Mellow dinner? Crazy dance party? Funny toasts? Serious ceremony?
- Do you want a sit down meal? Or buffet?
- Is there a food that means a lot to both of you or that you both eat all the time together? Can you tie it into the wedding?
- Who do you want surrounding you on your wedding day?
- Do we want only immediate family and close friends, or do we want a big party?
- Who would probably plan on traveling and who is local?
Responses from Grooms
I decided to ask some grooms about their experiences of planning and their wedding day, responses are listed below from REAL GROOMS.
What did you love about your wedding?
- When I saw my bride to be coming down the aisle.
- Married girl the girl of my DREAMS
- The actual day. The pre wed stuff is not fun.
What you wish you could have changed about your wedding?
- Probably the state we got married in. Because there is a noise ordinance in Utah that makes the venues close earlier than other states.
- I wish I could have enjoyed the moments more instead of talking with a bunch of relatives I didn’t really know.
What you didn’t know about a wedding/marriage prior to getting married?
- Pretty much everything was new
- How much work it takes to plan one night.
- Expenses. All the work that takes place.
How much did you help with planning your wedding?
- With everything, we were both very involved.
- Not a ton, but I was there for moral support and some light options.
What advice would you give yourself if you could travel back in time to your pre-wed self?
- Take another day off work.
- Enjoy it, have someone take lots of pictures, so you can look back and reminisce.
- Just enjoy it.